Reset My Relationships


In this message, we learn that resetting our relationships is the highest form of worship.

Alright. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Valley Creek Church. I am so glad that you are here with us today. We want to give a big welcome to our Denton campus, our Venue campus, and everybody who is watching online. Wherever you are in the world, we are so glad that you are here with us. And we are in a series called, Reset. And we’ve been talking about putting life back in order. And we’ve been playing off technology and pressing the reset button. And I hope as we’ve been working through this series, you’ve been resetting some things in your life. Because Jesus wants to make all things new. And as we’ve been going through this series, I’ve realized this truth, that reset leads to reset. When you start resetting something, all of a sudden, you want to start resetting everything in your life. A few months ago in our house, we decided, we wanted to paint one room in our house. And we painted that room.

And when it was done, it looks so good. I did such a good job. My lines were straight. It was amazing. And then, we decided, “It looks so good. Let’s paint the hallway.” And then, we painted the hallway. And that looked so good. And then, we thought, “Well, let’s paint the living room.” We painted the living room. And then, we thought, “Well, now, we got to paint the trim.” Because the trims got to look good to go with the new walls. And then, we looked at the carpet. We thought, “Oh, that’s bad. We got to refresh the carpet.” And then, we looked at the furniture. Some of it is old. Then, all of a sudden, you start going from room to room, to room and reset one thing. And you start resetting everything else. Because as soon as you realize what can be, you’re no longer willing to settle for what is. When you start to understand what God offers you, you no longer want what the world has. Reset leads to reset. So, if you will have the courage to just reset one thing in your life, you’d be amazed at how your eyes open up, and you want to start resetting everything else. And then, you step back and you think, “Why didn’t I do this years ago?” Okay?

So, hopefully, you’ve been resetting something. And it’s encouraging you to continue to move forward. And what we want to talk about today is resetting relationships. Because I don’t know about you, but I think relationships are hard. Anyone else want to agree with that? Okay. Just think all the people in this room. Think of the different opinions and perspectives, and experiences, and expectations, and personalities, and styles. And then, you throw them all together in relationship. Man, relationships are hard for everyone. They easily drift out of order. They easily go wonky in life. Anyone want to agree with that? When relationships go wonky, there is nothing harder than relationships. But there is nothing more rewarding than relationships. They’re incredibly difficult. But they’re incredibly worth it. In fact, in Mark 12, a teacher comes to Jesus. And he says, “Jesus,” he says, “Out of all of the commandments, which is the most important one?” He says, “Out of all the commandments, the hundreds of commands that God has given us, which is the most important one?”
In other words, he says, “Jesus, what’s the most important thing to God?” And Jesus looks back at the man. And he says, “Well, the most important commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.” He says, “Out of all the commandments that God has given us, they can all be summed up into these two. Love God, and love others.” In other words, Jesus steps forward, and He says, “The most important thing to God is relationships.” You have to remember that God is not just interested in relationship. God exists in relationship. He’s the Trinity. He is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. So, He exists in a communal state. And we were made in that image and that likeness, which means God wants our relationships to flourish. In fact, in Matthew 5, Jesus says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,” that your relationships are a little wonky, “leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to your brother. Then, come and offer your gift.”

In other words, Jesus says, “The highest form of worship is to reset relationships.” There’s a whole lot of things that God wants to do or God wants you to worship Him with. He wants you to bring sacrifices and offering, and passion. And all of those things are important. But the highest form of worship is to reset your relationships because there is nothing more important to God than relationships. And yet, if we were honest and we surveyed each other’s relationships, we would probably all agree that we all have relationships in our lives that are out of order, that have gotten a little bit wonky. It’s easy to start relationships. It’s hard to walk them out to maturity. And so, maybe we need to press reset together. Okay? So, a couple thoughts for you on how do we reset relationships? And I just want to play off technology. First thing is this, a little bit different, is just check your source. Okay? Check your source.

There have been plenty of times in my life when I’ve been trying to do something on a piece of technology, an appliance, a machine, and I go, and I turn it on. And nothing is happening. And I start pressing all the buttons, and it’s not working. And the more I flick the on and off switch and try to get the things spinning or working, or whatever it is, the more frustrated I start to become. So, you start smacking it on the side of it like as if that’s going to do something, and somehow, get the whole thing to fire up. And I’ll be doing, and it’s not working. And I’ll get really frustrated because I know it worked just like a day ago. And so, I’ll yell to Colleen. I’ll be like, “Hey, what did you and the kids do to this thing?” What did you and the kids? She’ll holler back like, “Nothing. It was just working.” “Okay. Well, it’s not working now. So, what did you guys do to it?” And then, she usually yells back to me, “Did you plug it in?” And you realized that if the thing is not… don’t act like I’m the only one that’s ever done that, first of all. You’re like, “Oh, you’re dumb man. Okay.”

If it is not plugged in, it doesn’t matter how many times I flick the switch, how many times I press the button. It’s not going to work. Okay. The same is true for our relationships. We get so confused why our relationships don’t work. Well, I think it’s because we’re often not plugged into the source. What I’m trying to tell you is that the quality of your relationships will never surpass the quality of your relationship with God. I mean, go all the way back to Genesis 2. God makes Adam and Eve. And it’s the first human relationship ever in all of history. And it’s recorded for us. And when you look at Genesis 2, you find this unique pattern. And here’s what God does. It says, He takes the dirt of the ground and He scrapes it together. And He forms Adam’s body. And then, God comes down, and He breathes in Adam’s face and brings him to life. And the moment Adam opens his eyes, the first face he is looking at is the face of God. He opens his eyes. And in that moment, he is filled with life. And he is filled with love.

He looks into the face of his father. And then, God takes Adam, and He sets him in the garden. And a few verses later, God says, “It’s not good for man to be alone. So, I’m going to make a suitable helper for him.” So, God takes Adam. He puts him into a deep sleep. He takes the rib out of Adam. And He comes over here, and He forms Eve’s body. And then, God comes down, and He breathes into Eve. And Eve comes to life for the first time. And the moment she opens her eyes, the first face she sees is the face of love. She sees the face of her Father. And she’s filled with life. And she’s filled with love. And then, it says, God takes Eve and brings her to Adam. In other words, only in receiving love from Him were they ever going to have any love for each other. Their relationship with each other started first with their relationship with Him. Only in looking into the eyes of love would they have any love to give to one another. And the same is true with you.

You cannot give what you do not have. Matthew 10:8, “Freely you have received, freely give.” You cannot give what you have yet to receive. And the reason we have so many wonky relationships in our lives is because we’re not plugged into the source. So, you can flick the switch all day long. But until you plug into the source and you look into the eyes of love, you will never be filled with life. You will never be filled with love. So, you will have nothing to offer the people in your life. In other words, what I’m trying to say is, unhealthy people can’t have healthy relationships. Because everything is an overflow of our heart. I mean, just think of the very structure of the cross. You got a vertical beam, and you got a horizontal beam. The very structure of the cross shows us what’s most important to God. A vertical beam that’s there. And when it’s strong and stable, and secure, it holds up the horizontal beam. But if the vertical beam is wonky and rickety, and falling apart, that horizontal thing is going to come crashing down.

It’s a picture of our life. When your relationships with God is strong and stable, and secure, your horizontal relationships are going to be great. Because they rest on the quality and the condition of your relationship with God. That’s why even the 10 commandments, the first half of the 10 commandments are about you and God. And then, the second half of the 10 commandments are about you and others. There’s an order, and we often get it backwards. I mean, 1 John 4 says this, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” In other words, he says, those who know God best will love people the most. Those who walk with God will be satisfied with their relationships. Those who are the most connected to the source will feel the most connected to one another.

I mean, did you ever hear people — we hear it in media and movies, and all of that stuff. That whole thing like, “You complete me.” You know what I’m talking about? “You complete me.” Okay. No, that’s not true. Jesus completes you. And until you’re complete in Jesus, all your relationships will always be wonky. The more you need someone else to complete you, the more wonky that relationship is going to be. Because they actually can’t complete you, only Jesus can. So, the greatest thing you can do for the relationships in your life is become the healthiest version of yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself. I can’t love my neighbor if I don’t love myself. And the only way I can love myself is by first receiving from the source, the God of all love. I mean, I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have these expectations of the people around me. They’re unrealistic. They’re unhealthy. They’re impossible. And I placed these expectations on them, and they don’t meet them. And so, I get frustrated and discouraged, and defeated. And what’s happening? I’m trying to get something from them that I can only get in Jesus.

And every time you sit there in the relationships in your life and say things like this, “You always or you never. Or you never come through from me. You always do this,” whatever that thing may be, okay, you realize that’s a source issue. It’s a source problem because you’re trying to get from them what you can only get from Jesus. And you will always be disappointed in others when you try to get from them what can only be found in Him. And so, maybe we need to lower our expectations of people and raise our hope in God. Maybe we have a source problem, okay? So, we need to plug into the source. Second thing is this. After you’ve connected it and it’s working, it’s in the source. You need to deal with the viruses. You need to deal with the things that want to destroy everything from the inside-out. You know it’s true. You turn it on. Now, you got to deal with the viruses that you may or may not even be sure that are there. Listen to this. 2 Corinthians 6, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said, ‘I will live with them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from them and be separate,’ says the Lord.” Paul is writing to the Corinthian church, to the people of God. He says, “Don’t be yoked together with unbelievers.” And when we hear that passage, we usually think of, “Okay, don’t get married to an unbeliever. Don’t get into a business partnership with an unbeliever.” Those are true, but he’s talking about the closest relationships in your life. He’s saying the closest relationships in your life must be Christ-centered. And he’s using an old farming terminology when he’s talking about a yoke. A yoke was an old piece of wood that they would take, and they would strap it over to animals’ necks. And they would strap them together in order to pull a plow or a cart, or whatever it may be. And the moment they strap those two animals together, they were in it to win it.

They’re together. They can’t go in different directions. They’re going to go in wherever they’re going. They’re going to get there together. And whichever animal is stronger is going to pull the other one in that direction. In fact, there was even a law that says, “You couldn’t yoke together two different kinds of animals. Because they have different strengths and different desires, and different paces of which they walk.” And he’s given us this great analogy to say, “Hey, don’t let the closest relationships in your life be with the people of the world because you will go wherever they are going.” Think of a bull and a sheep. If you strap them together, the bull is going to pull it in this direction he wants to go every single time. Okay? When you look at the relationships in your life, do you want to go where they’re going? A yoke is simply something that binds you together. If you look at the relationships in your life, what binds you together with those relationships?

Is it alcohol? Is it gossip? Is it a sin or sport, or a hobby? Or is it Jesus? What’s the thing that connects you together? Because whoever you’re walking with, you’re going to go where they’re going. And so, maybe there’s some yokes that need to be broken in our life. You will go wherever they’re going, and you will become whoever they’re becoming. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with wise becomes wise, a companion of fools suffers harm.” It flat out says it, clear as day. Hey, whoever you’re hanging out with, you will not only go where they’re going, you will actually become who they’re becoming. Hang out with wise people, you’ll be full of wisdom. Hang out with fools, you will be foolish. And every parent sitting in this room knows that’s true. That’s why we care about who our kids’ friends are, right? If you send a kid off to school in the last few weeks, if you’re anything like us, I don’t care about the curriculum. I don’t care about the schedule of the day. I don’t care about the extracurricular stuff. I care everything about who my kids are hanging out with.

Because I know whoever they hang out with, they’re going to become like that person. We’ve had plenty of resetting in our home over the years. As the kids have come home, you’re like, “Where did you learn to say that?” That’s not okay. We know it’s true for our kids. Why do we, as adults though, think we can somehow supersede that principle? Well, because I’m stronger than my kids. I mean, hey, I’m strong. I’m the bull in the relationship. I’ll pull them where I want them to go. Come on. The moment you take a breath, bang. They’re going to pull you right back over here because that’s the direction that people of the world are going. There is no way to bypass this thing. And so, sometimes, you just need to stop and be honest enough to look at the relationships in your life. And here’s what I would say to you. Listen to their words. Look at their life, and learn about their direction.

Listen to what they say. Look at who they’re becoming. And then, learn about the direction they’re heading. And then, ask yourself this question. “Do I want to go where they’re going and become like who they’re becoming?” Because if I choose to let them be the closest relationships in my life, that’s going to be the result. I cannot bypass this principle. It’s a supernatural law that God sets out there for us. And so, maybe we need to break off some yolks. And maybe we need to build in some new relationships. I am convinced that we are full of acquaintances. But we are empty on friendship. We are heavy on community. We are light on love. So, maybe we need some Godly relationships. Some people that we would define that are this where you talk about, learn about and become more like Jesus together with. I mean, Jesus flat out says. He says, “Hey, if you’re going to follow me, you’re going to have to walk with them.” Look at the people next to you. They’re amazing. If you’re going to follow me, you’re going to have to walk with them because no one follows Jesus alone.
No one follows Jesus with friends as people of the world. We don’t even choose. He leads us to other followers of Jesus because that’s where he’s going, into other people’s lives. Jesus is constantly taking lonely people, drawing them unto Himself, and pulling them into His community. But it doesn’t just happen. You have to actually pursue it. So, here’s what I would say. I hope every person in this room joins a group. If you’ve been in church for any period of time, at some point, you’ve heard somebody say, “You need to get in a group.” And you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me to do that for you. Okay.” It doesn’t do me anything if you’re in a group. You realize that, right? I want you to be in a group for you. Because whoever you’re hanging out with, you will go where they’re going and become like who they’re becoming. And there are some amazing people in this room, you want to go where they’re going and become who they’re becoming. I’m just telling you.

And so, go to Group Connect next Sunday night, at all the campuses. Just go, check it out. It’s easy. It’s nonthreatening. You can go and meet some people. I know some of you sitting there, you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, bro. My life’s too busy. I can’t do that.” Okay, listen. You always make time for what you value the most. So, your life maybe busy. That’s fine. But you’re making time for the things you value the most. And then, some of you, you want to sit here and say, “Well, I tried it, and it didn’t work.” Okay, try again. Since when is your life been defined by one trial and failure, and that’s it? I’m never going to do it again. Come on. The best friends you will ever have, I believe, are the people you have yet to meet. And it is almost impossible to follow Jesus without relationships with other people who will also pursue Him. Can I just tell you the cycle, okay? I’ve done this long enough now that I know the cycle. Here is the cycle. We live our life, and something happens. We get broken. We get desperate. We get a need. We get to the end of ourselves. And we, all of a sudden, have this desperate need for Jesus and the people of God. And so, we show up to church, and it’s amazing.

And we come to a series like Reset, and the worship is awesome. And God is speaking. He is moving. He’s restoring my life. He heals me. He builds things inside me, brings me hope, brings me life. But because I never break the yoke of those old relationships of the people in the world, and I don’t build new Godly relationships, it’s just a matter of time. Because now, my life is good. Jesus has put me back together till I start being pulled back in the direction because I’m still yoked. And I’m never going to pull them this way. They’re going to pull me that way. And I get pulled back over here, and I was going every week. But then, I started going every other week. And then, I start going once a month. And then, I start going once a quarter. And then, I show up pretty much for Christmas and Easter. And the whole seasons of life go by. And then, what happens? Crisis, brokenness, desperation. I need you, Jesus. And you showed back up, and you come back into this place. And you’re here. And you need God to move. And He starts moving in your life. Okay. That’s the cycle. And there’s a whole bunch of you sitting here right now, you know that’s the cycle because that’s you right now.

And that’s okay. We will always be here, and you are always welcome. You’ll even hear me at different points in time when I know a bunch of people show back up and say, “Hey, if you left and just come back, I’m so glad that you’re here.” We genuinely mean that and believe that. But I want more for you than that. I don’t want you to lose whole pockets of your life hanging out with the people of the world when Jesus is offering you more. He didn’t want you to just paint one room. He wants you paint the whole house. Come on. And what faith is? Faith is the willingness to let go of those old relationships before He gives me the new ones. It’s the willingness to trust. I can break a yoke before He puts me in with some new people. Okay? So, we need to break some things, build some things. And then, some of you, you just need to hear this. This is just like caveat. Some of you are here, you need to put some boundaries around some things. Some of you sitting here. You know there’s some relationships you can’t break off. And so, then, you need to create healthy boundaries.
Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” You are responsible to guard your own heart. We tell our kids all the time, they control the door of their heart, and only they get to decide who and what gets in. And what I want to tell you is no one has the authority to abuse you, to hurt you, to shame you. So, you need some boundaries. Because boundaries teach people how to treat you. If you talk to me like that one more time, this conversation is over. If you touch me like that, treat me like that, engage with me like that one more time, I’m going to walk out. Okay? Jesus had boundaries with the Pharisees and the crowd, and the disciples. You should have healthy boundaries too. But you’re going to need Godly relationships to create them. So, what viruses need to be dealt with? What do you need to break off? What do you need to build up? What do you need to draw boundaries around? Okay? Are with me on that? Deal with viruses.

Third thing is this. I can’t remember now. It’s this though. It’s, refresh your browser. You need to refresh your browser. You know that little squiggly thing up at the top? You need to press it. And when you press it, what happens is, all the old goes away, and all the new shows back up. 2 Corinthians 5 says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come. All this from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” So catchy. He says, “Jesus came and Jesus refreshed your browser.” He pressed the little squiggly button, and He got rid of all the old. And He brought in all of the new. He reconciled you unto Himself, reset His relationship with you. And now, He’s given you the ministry of reconciliation. You are literally anointed as a reconciler in this world. Which means you are supernaturally empowered with the same anointing Jesus had to reconcile relationships, which is really good news. Because if you’re going to live in this world, you need to be really good at that.

Because if you’re going to be in relationships with people, you’re going to have to choose to forgive over and over, and over again. And that’s hard because we get hurt. We get disappointed. We get discouraged. But here’s the deal. He flat out says, “You’re anointed to do it, supernaturally empowered to refresh the browser. And your willingness or — yeah. I’ll tell it to you because your willingness to forgive others is based on your understanding of how much you have been forgiven. Until you understand that Jesus always refreshes your browser, Hebrews 8:12, “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” Until you realize that you can’t even do something long enough to keep it on the screen, He just keeps, “Boop, boop, boop, boop.” Until you get that, you won’t be able to do it with other people. And the truth is, is that great forgivers have great relationships. That’s why God has the best relationships of all because He’s the best forgiver.

So, we need to forgive. But we also need to apologize. We talked a lot about forgiveness in church. We don’t talk enough about apologizing. Okay. I sounded Canadian there. That was good. Apologizing? You will become like whoever you’re hanging out with. Esther, I’ve been listening to you. She is our new Canadian friend on staff. She’s awesome.

Apologizing. If they’re 95% wrong and you’re 5% or not — yeah. If 95% is their problem and 5% is your problem, you still have to apologize. We teach our kids all the time. This is what we say, “You do something wrong, you need to say, ‘I’m sorry for specific. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?'” I’m sorry for the specific thing. I was wrong. Will you forgive me? Listen. This is so basic and simple, but we don’t do it. And that’s why our relationships are wonky.

And then, what do we say? Yeah. But they did this, and they did that. And they — I don’t care. You go first. Whoever is more mature will always go first. And you can be right or you can be in relationship, but it’s really hard to have both. So, who do you need to forgive, and who do you need to apologize to? I mean, do you remember David and his son, Absalom? There’s this horrific story that happens. Something happens with David’s other son, Absalom, his brother. And it’s heartbreaking. And Absalom is furious about what happened and how his father dealt with it. And so, it says, for two years, two years, the bitterness in Absalom’s heart grew. And it just festered over time. And neither of them were willing to press reset. And at the end of that two years, Absalom goes, and he kills his brother. It’s heartbreaking. And so, he has to run and flee for his life. And then, it says, for three years, he lived hiding on his own in another city because he couldn’t come back home.

For three years, neither of them are willing to press reset. And then, finally, he’s invited back into the kingdom. But he lives in the kingdom for two years without ever seeing King David’s face. Two more years where no one is willing to press reset. Two years, three years, two years. And ultimately, Absalom throws a coup, takes over David’s kingdom. David loses his kingdom. And then, Absalom loses his life. Their unwillingness to press reset cost them everything. Here’s the question. What is your unwillingness to press reset costing you? Because it’s costing you more than you know. I hope a term you’ll start using in your relationships when they get a little wonky is just, “Can we just press reset together? I’m sorry for specific. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” And then, you wait for them to say it and they don’t. But then, you just say, “Okay.” We’re still going to say, “Okay, I forgive you. Yeah, because you were wrong.” And you’re like, “Aren’t you going to apologize too?” No, they’re not, but that’s okay.

You’re going to choose to go first and reset. Because you don’t want to build a wall so high that makes you feel like it’s impossible to tear it down. You’ve got to deal with it as the brick start building up. Ephesians 4:31-32, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, brawling, anger, slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Press reset. Okay? So, you got to refresh the browser by apologizing and forgiving. But you also need to find new ways to love. Look, listen to this. Mark 2:22, “No one pours new wine into old wineskins. And if he does, the wine will burst the skins. Both the wine and the wine skins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins.” You say, “What on earth does that have to do with relationships?” Everything. What Jesus is saying is new wine needs new wineskins. New Life needs a new lifestyle.

Fresh relationships need a fresh way of relating. Think about this. You can’t relate to your 15-year-old the same way you did five years ago. You can’t relate to your spouse the same way you did 20 years ago. You can’t relate to your parents the same way you did 10 years ago. You can’t relate to your friends the way you did one year ago. Why? Because things change. Relationships are two people both of whom are constantly changing. And so, we have to keep adjusting and find fresh ways of relating, and loving one another. You can’t carry your 15-year-old to bed anymore. You can’t go out on a first date with your spouse anymore. You can’t expect your parents to pay for everything anymore. I mean, it changes. It changes. And so, we get stuck in a rut. We get stuck in a rut, and we try to deal with them the way we dealt with them in the past. And we sit there and we get angry, and we get frustrated. And we say things like this, “It used to be so good. Why can’t we go back to like it used to be?”

And in our minds, we think we want to go back to a time. But really, you want to go back to a way. Well, unfortunately, that way has changed because people are changing. And so, you get a choice. Are you going to adjust and move forward? New life needs a new lifestyle. Fresh relationships need a new way of relating. And the best example I can give you is, I think relationships are like a garden. They take constant maintenance, and they’re continually changing. Think about it. Think of a garden. It takes tons of maintenance. You have to plow the hard ground. You have to then put a seed in the ground. You’ve got to water it and fertilize it. You’ve got to constantly weed it as those weeds are growing up. As the plant begins to grow, you got to prune it. And ultimately, you’ll get to harvest it. It sure sounds like relationships, doesn’t it? You got to dig the hard ground in their heart. And you got to be willing to invest some things inside of it. You got to put water and fertilizer, encouragement, words of life, hope, forgiveness, apologizing.

You got to weed the things that come up between you. You got to prune the things that start going in the wrong direction. And then, you’ll get to have a great harvest. And not only that, you need to be aware of the season that it is. Because in the garden, things are changing. It’s winter. It’s spring. It’s summer. It’s fall. The seasons change. Some of you are sitting here, and you’re in relationship with someone whose heart is in a winter season. And you’re wondering why they aren’t running through the fields of summer with you.

Because they’re in winter, and you’re in summer. And so, are you going to be wise enough to be in tune to choose to relate differently than how it used to be? I mean, as I was preparing for this series, I had my journal, and I was sitting there and reset. And one of the things that just really triggered me, I wrote down all the relationships in my life. So, where do I need to reset them? My wife? My kids? My team? My friends? My family? And just literally, I just sat there and prayed about, what needs to be reset? What is the season and what needs to be different?

I would so encourage you to do that. You’d be amazed at the insight that God would give you. Okay? So, you need to refresh your browser. And then, the last thing is this. Just be patient. You plug it in. You deal with the viruses. You press refresh. And I don’t know about you. But my internet is really slow at home. So, it takes a while for it to all reload. And it’ll take a while for you. Your relationships didn’t get where they were overnight, so they’re not going to be fixed in a day. So, be patient. Thank you, Jesus. Matthew 4, he shows up and calls these guys. They were rough. They were selfish, self-consumed, arrogant, angry. Their hearts were hard. They had no faith. And yet, in Acts 2, three years later, they’re gentle and kind, and generous, and loving with a spirit of servitude. Why? Because Jesus was patient and kind, and gracious.

And what we learned from Jesus is you got to get rid of the wrong relationships. But don’t give up on the right ones. What we learned from Jesus is stop trying to get your needs met, and just spend some time meeting their needs. Mark 10:45, “The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many.” What we learned from Jesus is healthy servants have the greatest relationships. Healthy servants with good boundaries have the greatest relationships. Stop focusing on what’s wrong with them, and start focusing on Jesus. And let Him change what’s wrong with you. It costs Jesus everything to reset His relationship with you. It will cost you something to reset the relationships around you. And so, here’s what I would just say to you is, man, don’t let the pain of yesterday keep you from the life of tomorrow.

Don’t let what happened keep you from pressing reset and stepping into a whole new way of life. If relationships are the most important thing to God, then He will give you the grace to reset those relationships. Ultimately, resetting has very little to do with them. It has everything to do with you. It’s not about what they did wrong. It’s about, what are you going to do right? Are you willing to just press reset? So, can you close your eyes with me? And let me just ask you. Man, what is the Holy Spirit saying to you? In a room like this, there’s lots of different people with lots of different relational dynamics. And so, it doesn’t mean you need to do all four of those things that we just talked about. What it probably means is the Holy Spirit is probably bubbling up a relationship in your heart of which He wants you to do one of those things with that relationship.
But like some of you, you just need to check your source. You need to plug back in to the power in the life of God. You got to get to this realization where you’re understanding that that disappointment you have in people is because you’re trying to get something from them that you can only get in Jesus. Only He can tell you that you’re attractive, that you’re brave, that you’re worth it, that you’re loved. Only He can tell you what you really need to hear in your heart. And then, some of you, you know there’s a virus in your relationships, someone that’s pulling you in the wrong direction. The moment I touch it, you’re actually annoyed that I’m even speaking to it because you know it’s uncomfortable. And you know God’s prodding you. Man, have the courage. Let’s break that thing off in the name of Jesus, and be free. And believe that He has greater relationships in store for you.

And some of you, you’ve gone through that cycle I talked about so many times. Let’s let this be the last one. And find a godly relationship. And then, some of you, you know you need to refresh. You need to forgive. But there’s a whole lot of us in this room, we need to apologize. We need to just go say, “I’m sorry.” And expect nothing in return. And then, I would guess there’s a bunch of you that you just need to find a new way of relating to those relationships in your life because they’re changing. And you can’t stop time. But you can start to relate in the new way. And then, for all of us, we just need to be patient in the process. So, what is the Holy Spirit saying to you? And how does He want you to respond? Lord Jesus, I thank you that you reset our relationship with you, that you went first. That you plugged us into the source. That you got rid of the viruses and refreshed us, and you are patient and kind.

May we learn from you, Jesus, how to have healthy, life-giving, whole and intact relationships. Lord, we love you. And we believe we can press reset in you. Lord, I’m believing for miracles and breakthroughs in our relationships in the days to come as we walk with you, Jesus, the greatest relationship of all. In your name we pray, amen.

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